Our First Year of Parenting

Parenting is defined as supporting the physical, cognitive, social, emotional, and educational development from infancy to adulthood. In those first few months, days all seemed to blur together but as I was supporting all of those things listed for him - I for sure neglected my own. It felt hard to balance both. And now I know that I had suffered from postpartum anxiety. Everything I did felt off. I had thoughts of: what if I accidentally drop him on the coffee table, what if I’m walking down the stairs and I fall or I drop him, what if we get into an accident on the way to the store. Thoughts such as those plagued me all day, every day. And people talk a decent amount about postpartum depression and I knew that wasn’t what I was experiencing so I just didn’t know what to do with these thoughts. In times like this I knew I needed to turn to God, but as with much of my early parenting (miscarriages), I let fear win far too often. So I just threw myself into becoming the best mom I could be.

I had taken off 3 months from work and it was filled with walks, changing diapers, naps, breastfeeding, sitting outside, changing more diapers, getting peed on and just enjoying the time with my sweet boy figuring out how to be a mom. As hard and as exhausting as it is to breastfeed, it quickly became one of my favorite things. The bond we were able to share during this time is unlike anything else, and knowing I am not only nourishing my child but having hours of bonding time was priceless to me. I have spent a lot of time either nursing or pumping, sitting in back rooms to pump or in dressing rooms while at continuing education - sitting on floors in back rooms at family get togethers nursing (and looking down at his sweet little features). I am very grateful to have been able to breastfeed my son and for it to have been relatively easy for me, as I know that is not the case for many who so badly want to. I think that’s another reason I didn’t love pumping, but I knew it was necessary since I would be heading back to work soon. And that time came entirely too fast, and I was not at all prepared.  - This was from the night before I went back to work.

We had found a daycare that we felt very comfortable with but it hurt my heart every single morning dropping him off. That first morning was particularly hard, but honestly the older he got the harder it became because he cried - every single morning I left until the day he stopped going there. Many said to me it would get better, but it never did. Working full time while also figuring out how to be a parent is something that many people have to navigate and figure out, and for me it seemed to be a battle that I never could win. I took him to daycare, but since my husband’s work day ended sooner he picked him up and started dinner. Once I came home I nursed him, we ate dinner, did bathtime, and then it was time for bed. I really struggled with the aspect of not really feeling like I had any time with him during the week. So weekends were especially precious to us, and I cherished those contact naps every time. Weekends were spent reading books, playing outside, going on walks, going to parks, and just playing. He was such a joy to play with and to watch him play. There’s something so special about watching your kid figure out life when they’re so young and to see the wonder and joy in their eyes. As tired as Nic and I usually were, it was absolutely life giving to play with and to watch him play.

He didn’t love his carseat but it eventually got better and we still we able to travel many places in his first year. We took a long road trip to Colorado when he was 4 months old and he did amazing (other than pooping up his back as soon as we pulled into the grocery store of the town we were staying in - but I’m glad it was then and not at the beginning). The way back home wasn’t as fun, but we made it through. Honestly for probably the first year, I sat in the backseat with him to make the car rides a little better for everyone (did quite a bit of dangle nursing to avoid having to pull over and nurse). He took his first airplane ride to Arizona when he was 9 months old and that was a super fun trip for all of us. Most of the rest of our travels were more local to visit friends or family, and only a few hours here and there. The next time we went to Colorado to visit friends who had moved there he was 15 months old and it was a much better trip, I still think I sat in the back with him but that was mostly to be able to pass snacks and toys to him more easily. - He always wanted to hold my hand while in the car.

The hardest part of this parenting journey for us was (and still is) sleep. We were not blessed with good sleepers and I felt like I was constantly running on fumes, perpetually exhausted. And since I was nursing it felt pointless to have Nic feed him in the middle of the night because I had to be awake anyway to either nurse or pump, and I hated pumping. So, middle of the night wakings were always on me, I thought at least one of us should try to get decent sleep. As with many kids, he had a ‘witching hour’ from about 7:30-9:30pm and the only way he would stay calm was to lay in my arms on his stomach, facing out, and having his butt patted while I walked and so I walked laps around the house - every night. This lasted until he was at least 9 months old if not a little longer. We always joked that he has FOMO, still does, and just didn’t ever want to be asleep while Nic and I were awake because he might miss something. He was that way with naps as well. The only time he would nap longer than a half hour was if he was laying on me. The daycare even joked and called him their little helper because he either wouldn’t nap, or would only nap for a short time and then once he was walking he would walk the halls with the daycare workers until everyone else woke up. 

To be completely honest, other than poor sleep, he was a really good, fun baby. He was so happy, always smiling, loved to be held, and loved to engage with people. The only big issue was alllllll the sickness from that first year in daycare, which caused some problems for me at work. Being a hygienist, our days are scheduled months in advance and with seeing 8-10 patients a day, trying to reschedule a whole day or multiple days of patients can become a hassle. And I felt like I was doing this at least once a month, if not more. My boss and coworkers never hassled me about it, but I always felt guilty about having to call in or leave early if daycare called that he needed to be picked up. He never had any major illnesses - praise the Lord - just lots of little colds, a couple ear infections, teething, and a mild bout of hand foot and mouth. 

He was early on just about everything development milestone wise. He first rolled, on purpose, from front to back at about a month and a half old - it might have been even younger. He had his first tooth at 4 months, first rolled from back to front at 4 months. He started to army crawl at 5 months and was full on crawling by 6 months. He was sitting up unassisted and eating solids at 6 months, and began walking along furniture at 8ish months. Surprisingly he didn’t take his first solo steps until the day of his first birthday. Once that child started talking, he never stopped and he was saying full sentences by 18 months old, my joke is that he started talking from the womb. He was always very animated and expressive, curious and pretty set on how he likes things. (Me explaining all of this will make much more sense once I get to him at his current age). He has been a go-getter from the start and is always always always climbing and moving. 

About a couple months after his first birthday, Nic and I began talking about wanting to make a change. Both of us had been born and raised in Iowa, lived there our whole lives, and we wanted to see what else was out there and I was having a very strong pull to find a way to be able to stay home full time. And so began our quest of figuring out where we should move to. Our first location we looked into was Colorado, Nic had done an internship out there awhile back and really enjoyed his time there. So we began looking into towns, jobs, churches, etc - but no doors were opening. So we regrouped and landed on Arizona as a possibility. I had quite a lot of family out there at the time so we looked in the general area that most were in and began searching - and the doors flew open. Before we knew it, Nic had a job interview and they offered him the position and offered to move us down. We found an apartment and had an official move date. Then came the task of getting the house sold, that wasn’t as easy. Our move date was looming ahead, I’d had my last day at work, and we were getting ready to celebrate Christmas before taking on our new adventure. To be continued..  

XOXO, mischief managing momma