Life as a Family of Four - Part 1

We were busy adjusting and settling into a routine as a new family of four. Nic was still working from home with no signs of going into the office anytime soon and I was figuring out how to manage a busy toddler while nursing, getting nap times aligned, and creating memories with our two boys. In the morning I would get Mr. Blue some breakfast and turn on a show for him while Mr. Orange was napping and I would sneak in a workout to get the day started. I was never an avid workout person but was really trying to create good habits for myself and also for the boys to see it’s important to take care of the body God has given us. Once we had our morning routine finished is usually when we would venture out for the day. We put many miles on our stroller and I am so thankful that Mr. Orange was a champ at stroller naps. The miles on our stroller were spent: going on walks, walks to parks, trips to Target - walking up and down the toy aisles and letting Mr. Blue play with some toys. Hot tip for parents - if you need to get out of the house but don’t want to spend any money take your kids to Target and wander the toy aisles letting them play with whatever they want and when you want to move on they make sure all toys are put away before going to the next aisle, they get to play with new toys and you get a minute to just relax and sip some coffee while they’re entertained. And if you really want to get comfortable get one of the big kid carts so you can sit while sipping your coffee and have your kids push you from aisle to aisle. You get to fully relax and they get some heavy work input for their nervous system, win win! The biggest suggestion I can make is to set some solid boundaries with your kids to make sure that they know this is just for fun and they will NOT be going home with a new toy. In all honesty, it has helped set the expectation whenever we go into any store for them to NOT expect to bring anything home. 

Okay, back to it. I was able to rejoin my mom’s group a few weeks after Mr. Orange was born and this time I was with a new group of ladies in the new COVID era of Moms. They did not have breakfast for us anymore and instead of all staying in one big room the whole time - we sat in the big room for the speaker and then dispersed to separate rooms with our groups. I loved the intimacy of being able to meet with our groups without all the background noise of other groups discussing, but man did I miss the breakfasts! This time I opted to drop Mr. Blue off at our cousins on the mornings I had my mom’s group so he could have some solid cousin time each week and I was comforted that he was being well taken care of. Before, he cried every time I dropped him off at child care and it very much stressed me out. I kept Mr. Orange with me since he was still so young and just kept him in the carrier or stroller. When we would go to pick up Mr. Blue sometimes we would end up just hanging out for the day since at this age Mr. Orange would nap just about anywhere. This new group of ladies fulfilled my spirit in ways I cannot even begin to describe. There were many of us that were in the same season of life of newborns and toddlers and trying to navigate this new COVID era so we were able to really lean on one another. Our mentor mom that was assigned to our group is one of the best people I have ever known. Her kindness is apparent in every interaction, she really listens and offers advice when asked or simply validates the trials we’re enduring. She is a light to all who meet her and I have never met someone who literally breathes the light and life of Jesus to all she meets. I adore her and I am so thankful to God for putting her and all the other women in my life. 

Fast forward a bit and Nic’s parents and sister were able to come visit in December and we were able to do so many fun things with them. We took them to a popular hiking spot near where we lived, went to many of our favorite parks, drove around to look at Christmas lights (something we did at least a couple nights a week leading up to Christmas - for not being snowy and seemingly un-Christmassy - so many neighborhoods go ALL OUT with their lights displays and it is one of our favorite Arizona memories). Another favorite place of ours to go was McCormick-Stillman train park; it had a couple different playgrounds, buildings with model trains, and other museum type buildings - but the best part was a miniature steam train and track that you could ride on. We went there so often during our time in Arizona, it was a family favorite. While my in-laws were in town we were able to introduce them to that park and go to a special event there where they had Christmas lights and displays all along the track in the evening - Mr. Blue absolutely loved it. Another favorite place we were able to introduce them to was Cafe Au Plait, it’s a coffee house with a kids play area that you can come and stay to play as long as you want as long as you at least order something from the Cafe. It had montessori type toys and play items, you could sign up for music or art classes (for a fee) and also had a story time in the mornings. Mr. Blue loved being able to show his grandparents and aunt around his new hometown and all his favorite places. 

One of the things we were noticing more and more were that some of the challenges we were having with Mr. Blue seemed a little more than what was developmentally appropriate. We had started to take note of how he played and that he was always lining up toys, stacking them, or playing with them arranged by color. We questioned that with some but were assured it was still within normal development. Another was that he still was not a good sleeper no matter what we tried, he just needed someone in the room with him at all times - and even still he woke up multiple times. Basically the only thing suggested to us was to use melatonin, which we weren’t super comfortable with as it can mess with hormones in boys, but we tried using a half of one for a while and did not see a single change. So, we stopped as we didn’t think the risk was worth it. The problem for him wasn’t falling asleep, since he didn’t nap he basically was asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow from going full speed all day long, his problem was staying asleep. We also were really struggling with his very big emotions and meltdowns that would last upwards of a half hour over something seemingly small. Most were quick to chalk it up to the big changes in our lives over the past year or so but it felt different. We were in the thick of newborn life but also feeling like we were missing out on some of the joy because we were so focused on trying to figure out how to manage the challenges we were having with Mr. Blue. We felt as if we were failing him and not parenting him in the way he needed to thrive, but we just couldn’t quite figure out where all the pieces fit together. To be continued..

XOXO, mischief managing momma

Oldest (1)- Mr. Blue

Middle (2) - Mr. Orange

Youngest (3) - Mr. Green