Another Unexpected Journey - Part 2

Part 2:

As the due date drew near, we were getting increasingly anxious. While we had gotten good news from the specialists that they did not think baby would need surgery right away - there was no guarantee. So I was trying to prepare my heart and mind for being separated pretty soon after birth. Our parents were on call as the due date was getting closer with all of them prepared to head our way as soon as we felt it necessary. At one point we had called my mother in law and she came since I had been having pretty consistent contractions and wanted someone there in case they ramped up. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case, they ended up stopping completely - so she headed home to get a few more work things out of the way for whenever baby decided to finally make their arrival. A few more days passed and I was definitely feeling like the contractions I was having were making some moves so both of my parents, and Nic’s dad came. And luckily so, because we headed in at 2am that night. We had taken one last photo as a family of 4 before we put the older 2 to bed, and I am so glad that we did.

Once we arrived at the hospital, they checked me in at triage to see if they were going to keep me and I was already dilated to 8-9cm, we were there to stay. Once we got up to my room we got settled and met our nurses and prepared to hopefully have a pretty quick labor since I was already dilated so far. NOT. Labor pretty much stalled - for hours. I labored pretty intensely for many hours and I was so determined to do this one naturally as my one last chance at having the birth I had originally planned to have. The labor pain was so intense in my hips and Nic was constantly having to give me counter pressure but it just wasn’t enough. Around 9am the doctor said she was going to break my water but I was having constant contractions and could barely hold still long enough to let her try, I was so exhausted and decided I was done - I wanted to get an epidural. I felt so incredibly defeated to have not been able to complete my goal of a natural birth. Another experience that I wasn’t prepared for and was yet another reason I just have been so frustrated with standard hospital births - while I was shifting sides and having the peanut ball removed from in between my legs, a very vulnerable position, in comes the anesthesiologist - with a student. They then asked if it was okay if the student observed, well at that point he had already seen all there is to see of me in all my glory - so sure, why not. Later on when I was just processing things I remembered that instance and was so upset, birth is a vulnerable experience in itself, I shouldn’t have had to worry about situations like that. They should’ve had him wait outside the door while they asked me permission, I would’ve said yes because everyone needs opportunities to learn in real time - but the way they went about it was not okay. 

After receiving the epidural it helped some, but I was still majorly uncomfortable and the contractions were constant. They had me in the weirdest position ever and I started to become nauseous. I get really bad heartburn in the last trimester of pregnancy, I have with all 3, to the point that it will cause me to throw up. And the position they had me in was causing the heartburn to be so very bad. I had finally reached 10cm and they wanted me to start pushing, even though I hadn’t felt the urge yet. Since my last birth with Mr. Orange went so quickly they had every person available in the room should this one go the same way. They had the birth team, the NICU team, the baby team, just so many people in the room all staring at me.

Needless to say, it didn’t help matters. I pushed for a long time and felt I wasn’t getting anywhere.  I asked if I could not push on my back, could I kneel or go on all fours and I was told that I couldn’t. Finally, after way too long, I could feel the head coming through and gave one last push with all the strength I could muster and baby flew out in a gush of fluid. At 2pm our baby was FINALLY here, and Nic was able to announce we had yet another BOY. They immediately put him on my chest so I could hold him and let him latch for the first time while they waited for the cord to turn white before having Nic cut it.

In total, I had 20 minutes with him before they took him to do their measurements and scores and then rolled him off to the NICU. And in a flash, everyone had left the room and I was all alone - it was the worst feeling in the world. I knew he was going to need to go to the NICU and we had planned on Nic following to be present for all the initial testing he had to have done - but we didn’t have any plans for me - and boy did I wish we had. I wasn’t able to follow until I had gone to the bathroom and the epidural had a chance to wear off and my IV was completely done. So with the exception of the nurse coming in to push on my uterus, I was alone. Alone with my thoughts, alone to process all that had just happened, alone. I wanted nothing more than to be able to have the normal post birth bliss of holding my baby without a care in the world but bonding with my baby, letting him nurse for however long he wanted, but that wasn’t the case. So I cried, I cried a lot. I didn’t really know what to do with myself, and the nurses seemed too busy to care. 

Finally after a couple hours they wheeled me over to the NICU to see my sweet baby boy for the second time. Luckily I had prepped ahead of time and had ‘harvested’ some colostrum in syringes prior to birth since I didn’t know how long we would be apart. Those came in handy during his testing when he was getting cranky and I wasn’t able to be there to nurse him. While we were apart he had his first echo, ekg, and an ultrasound of his brain and abdomen.

Other than his heart defect, he was perfect. 9lbs, 21in, and even better - his oxygen levels were so great that they never had to put him on oxygen. The only thing he was hooked up to was a pulse ox and a couple wires on his chest to monitor his heart rate. While I am so grateful he wasn’t hooked up to anything else, trying to navigate holding him and nursing him and not pulling on the wires or pulling them off was very challenging at times. I kept a steady schedule for the next couple days of nursing, heading back to my room for the nurses to check on me and try to sleep a bit, heading back to nurse again, back to my room to shower/take a bath - try to sleep, and back again. I tallied up a lot of steps right away for someone who had just given birth and had an internal wound the size of a dinner plate - but that’s motherhood. So needless to say - sleep still didn’t happen much for Nic or I. Between nurses checking on me, trying to get a little relief in the shower or bath, eating, the monitors in the NICU beeping - sleep was elusive. 

We had of course told our parents pretty soon after he was born to keep them updated, but told them not to share anything with the boys as we wanted to keep it a surprise until we came home so we could witness their reactions. The biggest question we kept getting was, what’s his name?! That’s a great question, we didn’t know either. This was our 3rd boy and names are hard enough let alone coming up with 3 of the same gender. Our parents kept asking if we were just messing with them and not telling them his name and we had to convince them that no, we weren’t joking - he truly did not have a name yet. He was a full 24 hours old before we finally settled on one. The nurses were so excited to finally have a name to put up on the board instead of just ‘baby boy’. 

The sweetest experience in the NICU was that on our very first full day in the NICU the nurse assigned to us was a sweet friend of mine from my Bible study group. She’s not on their schedule full time, so the fact that she happened to be working - AND assigned to us was definitely the hands of God at work. Having a familiar face there, being honest about all that was going on, and her just being one of the sweetest people I’ve ever known - was a huge answer to prayer. When her shift ended we were sad to see her go but so thankful for her presence that day. We had a great team of nurses and doctors throughout our time in the NICU and all were so informative. No question was too silly or dumb, they took everything we asked very seriously and were always making sure we were being kept in the know as far as his care plan going forward. When it finally came time for discharge they removed all of his wires and we finally got to hold him wire free! The craziest part, after preparing to potentially be there for quite a while - we were discharged after only 2 days! Praise the Lord!

The funny thing is that his discharge was processed even before mine. So we packed up and cleaned up our stuff in his NICU bay and headed on back to my room to finish packing up and wait for my discharge before finally being able to head home to our big boys and begin our lives as a family of 5 - with THREE BOYS!   

We had texted our moms that we were on our way home and that we were going to go to the front door to surprise the boys. So we rang the doorbell and walked in the door to 2 very surprised and excited little boys! We told them they had a little brother and told them his name, and while they were initially disappointed that he wasn’t a girl - they were excited to be able to hold him.

Mr. Blue of course could be counted on for his commentary and was sure to ask me if my belly was still squishy - yes, yes it is.… Both Nic and I let the boys have their snuggle time with new baby brother and then we got in OUR snuggle time with the older two. And then it was time to say goodbye to our moms as we ‘locked down’ again for the next month in order to keep him as healthy as possible until he was at least a month old. Back when Mr. Blue was a baby our family doctor told us that it’s important to keep them as healthy as possible in the first 28 days, mostly concerned with fevers, because if they were to get a fever in those first 28 days it’s an automatic spinal tap. And ever since that has stuck in our brains, so we sit tight at home and rest and regroup for those first few weeks - which isn’t the worst thing for us all to be able to find our new normal and try to rest (and heal for me). Next time we will dive into how the first few months as a family of 5 go and as we prepare for Mr. Green’s open heart surgery.

XOXO, mischief managing momma        

Oldest (1)- Mr. Blue

Middle (2) - Mr. Orange

Youngest (3) - Mr. Green