A Season of Changes

Have you ever felt like life has just completely overwhelmed you and you didn’t have time to catch your breath? 

That’s how I felt in this season. We left off last time with our spring surprise of baby number four! I’ll admit, while I was happy, I kind of spiraled a bit. We were still struggling daily with Mr. Blue - his big emotions, meltdowns, and just always having to be 10 steps ahead of him and just felt emotionally and physically depleted. A lot of our energy each day went to him and whatever was leftover went to the other 2. How in the world could we add another when we already didn’t have enough energy to care for ourselves well and time for the 2 of us was few and far between. And then there was the space aspect in the house. Mr. Orange and Mr. Blue were already sharing a room, all three wouldn’t fit, and what if this one is a girl? With Nic working from home full time, I wasn’t about to put him in the storage room to free up the room he used as his office - that would be dark and depressing. Then there’s the car, is it even big enough?! We also felt like we were finally getting close to having more time for ourselves and each other without feeling guilty because they were more independent - now we’re starting all over with the baby phase! And fear really got the better of us for a bit when we thought about the possibility of this child either also being autistic or having a heart defect and could we handle any of that again? And yes, to answer the question we always got when we started to tell people - we do know how this happens. Sometimes things just don’t go as planned and we’ll call this a happy accident! The brain spiral lasted for about a week and then it was just acceptance, that God knows better than we do and our family was just meant to be a family of 6 - we’ve got this! I’m my heart, I always wanted 4 but Nic was a little more on the fence about it, but with very valid concerns. Either way, ready or not, I was pregnant and it was happening. 

Then as life goes, about two weeks after we found out I was pregnant, we learned that Nic was running out of work to do in 6 weeks and would need to find something else. We felt pretty blindsided by that and panicked again - expecting a fourth child and having to find new work or then potentially losing our only source of income. I had no doubts he would find something different. It was just a matter of when and would it be something that allowed him to continue to work from home with the flexibility we’ve all come to love. Once that reality settled in and we accepted it was happening whether we wanted it to or not, we began to tell people about baby #4. It was kinda fun to just spring on people. With zero introduction I would just send a picture of the test, I blurted it out at a bonfire with friends, and my favorite was finding out one of my long distance besties and I were pregnant at the same time again for the 4th time and due very close together. (We have been pregnant together for all 4 of mine and 4 of her 5, with their birthdays being within days or weeks of each other.) We waited to tell the boys until right before we were going to tell the first set of grandparents since we knew it would be hard for them to keep quiet and they were so excited! Mr. Green didn’t really understand but he was still excited anyway. My father in law was set to retire and we were headed to a retirement party for him and had the boys all in their special shirts to tell the family that another one was on the way. And then a couple weeks later we told my family while on vacation together. 

From then on it was just life as usual, but man it’s so true that the more kids you have the earlier you start to show - even if I had wanted to hide it for a bit, there was no hiding it! This time I went with midwives again, with the hope I could stay with them for the entirety of the pregnancy (since I couldn’t stay with the midwives once we found out about Mr. Green’s heart defect). The tiredness at the beginning always seems to catch me by surprise but this time I was SO incredibly tired that I felt I didn’t have energy for anything. I came to find out after some labs, my thyroid levels were low - but it’s hard to know if my extreme fatigue was due to that or because not only was I pregnant but also chasing around 3 kids, homeschooling, and doing all the things. We were still working our way through our school work, going to homeschool groups, park outings, and doing play dates. I was also getting everything ready to plant our garden - we still had our strawberry plants and they were looking great after we covered them for the winter. This year we decided to plant cucumbers, cherry tomatoes, and peppers.

By the beginning of June we were finishing up with school and ready for the fun and busyness of summer. We celebrated a family wedding, Mr. Blue’s birthday, the life of a family member, and my father in law’s retirement. We went to parks, splash pads, baby appointments, dates with the kids, breakfast picnics, had swimming lessons, and played outside so much - it was a busy month! The end of the month also brought the end of Nic’s workload and the search for more wasn’t going how we had hoped, but we trusted that God would bring about a job that would be a perfect fit for not only our family’s needs but also that suited what Nic is passionate about. In July we celebrated the 4th with neighbors as we had come to love our town’s celebration and activities so much. And in true God fashion, a job came up for Nic and they wanted him to start right away. To be honest, in our perfect timeline, we had hoped to have about a month in between to be able to get some projects done and have some good quality family time - with maybe a short trip thrown in. But oh well, we had prayed for the right thing to come up, and it did. We continued to go to parks and splash pads, play outside, and go to the zoo. But this month we added in fairs as an added bit of fun. We spent time at each of the grandparents’ places. And then came time for the best week of summer: VBS. Mr. Blue is part of their special needs program that assigns him a buddy to assist him throughout each morning. There’s a calm down room for when things get overwhelming and the buddy is there to provide a sort of grounding and safe space for him. Mr. Orange also goes, but is in his own age group, and I love that he finally has a time and space to be with kids his age and not feel like he has to be Mr. Blue’s keeper. This week is always so fun because the older two get to be poured into, in a safe space, and Mr. Green and I get to have some quality time together. We went to parks, played outside and inside together, read books, and overall just had some really special time - just the two of us. I definitely was feeling sentimental because soon he’s no longer going to be the baby. By now my garden was absolutely thriving and the boys tried their hand at road-side selling some of our garden produce, along with some sweet corn that my parents brought for them to sell. But boy was it hot out, and they struggled to stay motivated to keep at it.

And then came time for August. It started out with a bang as we had a family vacation with my in-laws. We started with a farm tour, and my boys are all about animals and farms so they were thrilled. After that, we decided to look at that house again - the one we looked at on a whim clear back in March, this time with the whole family. The next day it was time for the water park! The day started off not so great as one of Mr. Blue’s crowns came off in the car on the way to the waterpark, and I had to call around to see if we could get him in, but thankfully it wasn’t causing him any pain so we decided to wait until we got back home. It was pretty cold at the waterpark, it just wasn’t as warm out as we had hoped it would be, but we still had a lot of fun. The next day was just a chill day to wind down from the past couple days of on the go fun - and then it was back home. Once we got back home we decided it was time to put Mr. Orange and Mr. Green in a room together to see how that pairing would go before the baby comes - and it went great! The next few days were busy as we celebrated a big birthday for my mom and went to the State Fair parade, which is something we had always wanted to do. And then came time to go to the actual state fair, which we made a family affair with my parents, my brother and his family. We wound down the summer with a big decision that would change everything as we knew it. 

XOXO, mischief managing momma.

Oldest (1)- Mr. Blue

Middle (2) - Mr. Orange

Youngest (3) - Mr. Green